2014 Seattle Washington Voters Guide

soapboxIf you are prepared to vote, but for some reason don’t want to involve yourself with all that hassle of actually thinking or learning what the heck is going on have I got a surprise for you:  I can tell you what you should think, and you should listen.  I don’t have billions of dollars, or millions, or even thousands and I have never banned a “Big Gulp” in any State of the Union.

I actually don’t like telling you what to do, but that’s mostly what voting is about.  Telling the other 49% what it’s going to be like (actually more like corporations and rich folks (remember the 1%?  They sway voting.)  No new taxes, and no new infringements on my rights is a good thing.

Why worry about who tells us what to do?  People like Bloomberg have money to make things happen.  And they do.  Under Bloomberg’s watch the Stop and Frisk went up to 685,724 times in 2011.  Stopping people for no reason and searching them sounds like a good thing to do.  Makes us safer. The rights of the few (half a million people or so) don’t outweigh the rights of the many, even when “the many” become the few. Whatever. It makes us safer.

Other things just makes it easier for those that waste our tax dollars.  They squander it and lose a giant machine in the earth because the morons forgot about a bunch of huge steel pipes they drilled down early to make sure Big Bertha could get through.  Has Bertha made it through there yet?  Still stuck?

Initiative Measure No. 1351: NO

The “A-holes” over at “The Stranger” claim in their guide that it is good.  Helping kids learn and get smart and stuff is good isn’t it?  Of course it is.  Smaller classroom size is written better than the rest  of the initiatives but there’s big flaws in big money.

Irregardless*, how often do we vote for “the poor children” (and raise taxes)  they never get a smaller classroom, do they? Let’s really think of the kids by making these people manage their money properly instead of wasting it.  Study after study shows how income and poverty relates to standardized test scores and yet they blame “lack of school funding” and raise taxes that allows increased school system spending.

No one will ever suggest that schools use these funds to make a class teaching fiscal responsibility to help end the cycle of poverty. The poor children will always get the poop end of the stick while they waste money on fancy buildings for administration while we stick those poor kids in a trailer out in the parking lot.  Instead let us stick those bastards in the administration buildings into an administrative trailer park and give struggling students a decent classroom and a manageable class size.

Initiative Measure No. Monorail:  NO

As much as I’d like to dress up like Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dum and pretend I’m going to Disney, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Sometimes, it’s a good idea to look at progressive countries or cities and emulate what they are doing correctly, but you should start at the bottom and work your way up. Let’s make sure we have sidewalks before we build an Eiffel Tower. Where’s Big Bertha?  Trapped underground with our tax dollars…still.

Initiative Measure No. 591: YES

This basically says that the State will go along with Federal guidelines.  The State has rights, but during the American Civil War the Federal Government didn’t respect the rights of the States, so we had a big war and a lot of people died. “Served them rednecks right!” you say? How smoothly would the battles for marriage equality and legalization of marijuana have gone if the Federal Government simply allowed states to represent the will of their constituents?

Initiative Measure No. Common Sense: NO

We don’t really need to worry ourselves with thinking about stuff.  Thats why we have politicians.They can tell us whether or not we can buy a Big Gulp, legally.  I like being scared too.

Initiative Measure No. 594: NO

This will create an even greater burden on the Department of Licensing and the police by making them do paperwork.  They already allow criminals to be rampant in Seattle because they only have 2 or 3 detectives for home burglaries.  Just think how little they’d accomplish if they had even more paperwork to do.  Have you called the police lately?

Let us instead continue with the laws already on the books and actually do something with them, like “don’t kill people.”  Also as an aside let’s address the real problem, repeat offenders.  Anyone have any idea how much of the crime repeat offenders cause? Mental health issues might be something we look into.  235 thousand people a year die from diabeetus.

Initiative Measure Whatever Else and Those People That Make a Lot of Money from Holding Offices That are Supposed to Serve the Public:

In-cum-bent.  Just about like it sounds.  It is a latin based word meaning the holder of an office.  Some have been an incumbent for 25 years.  Maybe some new blood would come in useful instead of making a lifetime career not moving up the ladder of success?.  Mediocrity can be good especially when taxpayers back your paycheck.

An easier method would be just to go over to “The Stranger” if you like and just vote the opposite of what they advise.  Or, I have an even better idea.  Go get your Google ready device and Google up something and learn a few things that actually have an effect on your life instead of who is going to get booted off “America’s Got Apathy.”

Why write a voters guide?  Mainly because most people are just going to vote using stupid voter guides and television commercials as resources. We live in an age of miracles and wonders: Google it.

* The use of the word irregardless was inserted as a ruse.  We all know that irregardless isnt really a word, don’t we?  Why not might you ask?  Big classroom sizes probaly.  See what I did there?

Author:  I P Frehley

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